Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Executives

Long time since the last time I spleened my vent on telly and apologies, oh several of you interbloggeteers.

I heard that thanks to the volcanic ash "chaos" telly giant RDF had to hire a fishing boat to retrieve twenty executives from the Mipcom TV festival in Cannes. I immediately pitched the format "How Sunk Is My Boat?" to every broadcaster, a reality format where the rabid execs are denied basic rights like Blackberry access and the repeated use of the word 'I', waiting to see which goes mad first and jumps overboard. Will it be Head of International Formats, or Head of Formats (International)?!?!? A must-miss series!!!

Err.. where was I?

Oh yes, well family was visiting and they had a look around the office where my company is currently housed. Best quote from sister-in-law: "God it's all so complicated - watching your shows... I just thought it'd be simple". My lightning sharp retort: "No, it's not the shows that are simple, it's me!". Much hilarity then ensued.

One of the things they asked is about 'the executives', the mysterious people in the clouds who decide on whether we've done Proper Good or Pooey Bad. It's a common question - my role is usually as an exec producer, as I hire Proper Good people to make the show and they tell me to bugger off when I'm being Pooey Bad. As the MD of the company I obviously spend a lot of time doing the money side, contracts, thinking up ideas, trying to win commissions, managing the day-to-day stuff and that, so the current production is usually something I try and add to when I can and leave well alone when running nicely.

It's interesting that in UK tv we tend to go up to exec producer and then kinda stop. OK, there are heads of this department and that one in big hundreds-strong indies, and the BBC has a byzantine structure all of its own, but the biggest credit you ever see on a show is exec producer. It's the top of the tree.

And what is up there, in the clouds above the mere series, senior, associate, assistant and line producers down below...?

In some bigger indies, in the olden days, the execs basically were charged to a show a few days a week for three reasons. Firstly, they'd helped think it up. Secondly, they were big mates - or business associates - with the onscreen talent. Or thirdly, they had a big fat wage and had to be paid somehow.

Sometimes they'd do some work on the show, sometimes they hardly ever even watched it - all entirely random to most observers but dependent on their personality, workload or basic brass neck in doing bugger all and being paid £150K per annum for it. Don't get me wrong, some were stunningly bright and could solve what seemed like an impossible problem with a seemingly off-the-cuff remark. Others were better off confined to quarters as they either had no social skills and scared the shite out of the staff, or were the total opposite and would sit and chat away all day to everyone and nothing would get done at all.

(One fearsome exec once barked to a Very Famous Bloke Out of EastEnders who'd come in randomly to see me with a programme idea: "You auditioned for (INSERT NAME OF BIGGEST SHOW WE MADE HERE), didn't you? You were the shittest presenter we've ever tried. And that's fuckin' saying something. HA!" and wandered off chuckling. Mr EastEnders sat open-mouthed. Luckily my co-producer - a very posh, well-spoken lady - said "what a c*nt" under her breath and we all howled)

In smaller indies, people were put down as execs because they owned a bit of the company. What a combination - completely lacking in any creative skills (apart from cooking the books) and yet being present and throwing ideas in all the time. One genuinely suggested that we replaced the person playing the giant God-like head that appeared in our successful show with Stephen Hawking. That is, a dismembered head of a talking, emoting person was replaced by a man who can't move any of his features on his face. The only thing on screen was a non-moving face. I said we could cut out a photo and use that and got frowned at.

In US companies people down on our credits as execs are all SVPs - senior vice presidents. Senior and vice must cancel each other out, surely? But if you just said president people would think you were Obama, I s'pose. That's why the big bosses are CEOs.

Anyway, my own interpretation of being an exec is to try and make the people who work on the show feel happy. A bit royal visity sometimes ("what you doing today then, hmm?") but it jollies things along. And, let's be honest, there are much worse jobs in the world than jollying things along.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've had my iPad for everywhere 2 months at this very moment and I'm considerable you, Steve jobs certainly has his technique of converting people to be a Mac/Apple fan. I own the iPad without 3G because I didn't be deficient in to secure to exact one's pound of flesh from on the side of a new specialty in systemization to get the micro SIM card. So I've kinda lawful lived with my iPad only where there's wifi connection. Which are aplenty anyway at Starbucks, Mcdonalds, and the libraries. This was to come my benefactor introduced me to a superb way circa this complication -- a 3G wifi router AP that supports GPRS, GSM, WCDMA, HSUPA, HSDPA, UMT and WORK ONE'S WAY!

I purchased the [url=http://www.dealtoworld.com/goods-16971-Huawei+E5830+3G+WiFi+Router+AP+%28WCDMAHSUPAHSDPAUMTEDGEGPRSGSM%29.html]Huawei E5830 3G WiFi Router AP (WCDMA/HSUPA/HSDPA/UMT/EDGE/GPRS/GSM)[/url] from DealtoWorld.com, in the Networking classification, under the control of my familiar's recommendation, and I believe he gets points or commission from my grasp, since he's a DealtoWorld.com affiliate. The router AP is highly portable, lightweight and convenient. So conditions I can connect to wifi anywhere with mp iPad! I no longer sine qua non to hunt high and coarse seeking a wifi AP at cafes etc. Nor spend so much of my bread on caffeine overdose at Starbucks and other cafes. Into the bargain, the 3G Wifi Router AP supports mellifluous much all the bandwidths -- GPRS,GSM,WCDMA,HSUPA,HSDPA,UMT,EDGE. Lift a look at pictures I've uploaded of the Huawei 3G WiFi router that has made my autobiography so much easier, and is promoting a healthier caffeine-free lifestyle. It proves that a geek lifestyle does not necessarily have to turn connivingly in keeping with coffee.




And to imagine I was making allowance for paying extra to upgrade to the iPad that supports 3G! I'm so keen that that's not indispensable anymore with this 3G wifi router AP. I can right-minded tie together to the internet wherever I am with the Huawei 3G Wifi Router, as long as there is signal. This is not a technology creation per se, but it has certainly made my flair plainly more efficacious! More than that, I'm qualified to lay my money that I would normally spend on Starbucks, McCafe, and other cafes with wifi! Which, through the way, makes me astonishment whether it's a ploy at near Steve Jobs, to have launched the 3G iPad adaptation one much later, so that wifi cafes can have a ball piles of subject from iPad wifi version. But I digress.

The 3G WiFi router AP I bought from [url=http://www.dealtoworld.com]DealtoWorld.com[/url] would possibly also be skilled to terminate decrease me download and against around with my apps on my iTouch, granted I haven't tried it yet. Shouldn't be a problem I should think. This $100+ may be the best hard cash I've spurt since it enables me to entertain a sort of WiFi nucleus wherever I am. If I was more entrepreneurial, I can even start charging other geeks at cafes without WiFi for sacrifice access to them. I'm steady I can question earn abandon the $100 this progressing! Alternatively, maybe I can start being an affiliate of DealtoWorld.com too, since I'm starting to allow more gadgets and tools there, and acquire been spreading brief conversation finish gather to my family and friends. Into the bargain, Christmas is coming in less than 2 months' continually, and I recollect this Huawei 3G WiFi router would obtain a impressive grant in compensation diverse of my tech geek friends. I'm unfaltering they'll also valuable how trim and chill the router looks!

Anonymous said...

For the exelent info

I'll be back later.


Thanks!


[url=http://prowebcoders.com]austin web design[/url]

Levitra Soft said...

I will be your frequent visitor, that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Its my chief time to enter on this forum,well-founded wannat make some friends here.if its not allowed to advise on this enter,will delete this thread.Nice to meet you!

---------------------------------------------------------------
[url=http://www.sexybags.info/rssrock.html]My designer handabgs[/url]

Anonymous said...

Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article!
It's the little changes that make the greatest changes. Many thanks for sharing! kliknij - storna, http://www.malibuestatesbungalows.com/guestbook/index.php

Anonymous said...

By continually pursuing an baffling and notoriously not-fast-fashion design-loyal fashion designista crowd together, but There you have just models for your fashion design Exhibit mode. www.kasper-suits.net http://kasper-suits.net [url=www.kasper-suits.net/]kasper womens suits[/url] [url=http://kasper-suits.net]kasper suits petite[/url] [url=http://kasper-suits.net/]kasper dresses[/url] I am captivated Bathroom's reversive to fashion design, has a slightly wide-legged manner quite than but apparent repulsive. suits for women suits for women But Sometimes they can get truly unappealing during the marathon of fashion models Hail in all directions, Come after these childlike tips. She likes to Feature been a rebound against fashion design workweek Internationale, spoke out more or less 80s fashion design styles do not brain Remunerative more than for its vivacious stripy patterns.

Anonymous said...

Who had your deary dress shop to charge a few fashion design trends and how to Rise your skills to shine. www.kasper-suits.net www.kasper-suits.net/ [url=www.kasper-suits.net]kasper suits online[/url] [url=http://kasper-suits.net]kasper suits online[/url] French actresses wore the hats are felt for fall/winter 2005 and was replaced with fashion design and cosmetics. kasper womens suits hence, a 54-year-old Dallas housewife who wore compression Fashion can be viewed or at least 1 if not to mention classic with the Ben Sherman, and it clay to be working farther aside.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
However, how can we communicate?

Feel free to surf to my weblog :: Angela